Meet Steve. He's my REALTOR and he rocks like no REALTOR has ever rocked, ever. I met him through his wife Heather, who you may know as the intrepid @RosevilleRockLn on Twitter. They're super cool folks and probably two of the most hilarious people I know.
And unlike most of the REALTORs I've dealt with in the past, Steve actually uses email and text. If you need a house in the Roseville and Rocklin area, definitely give him a call. Just wait for me to get my house first! Check him out at www.RosevilleAndRocklin.com
Steve is a hungry guy and reads Chomple to try to find new places to eat. But he has a problem. All of the good meal deals I ever find are the kinds of food he doesn't really like. I find a great cheap sushi buffet (two of them even)... and Steve doesn't like seafood. I find a cool noodle place, but Steve likes clean bathrooms and servers that speak English.
One day, we were touring a foreclosed house with an especially fragrant and biologically dangerous swimming pool filled with a dark green soup of chemicals and algae. As we started getting dizzy from the fumes, Steve had a question for me.
Steve: Yod, do you ever find any good lunch deals that I would like?
Yod: What's wrong with the ones I've already found?
Steve: I don't like seafood. And I don't care for restaurants where I feel I need Heather to spray me with Lysol after we eat there.
Yod. Hmm... you know, you're right. All of the good deals I find are either seafood or marginally hazardous to your health.
Steve: Well, I'm going to find you a good "Big White Guy" meal deal you can send everyone in town to. Trust me, I know all the good spots.
As my balance started to fail me, I retreated to the interior of the house, which thankfully smelled more like carpet cleaner than tear gas. I wondered what kind of restaurant Steve would find. Where do REALTORs eat anyway? The way I saw it, REALTORs never ate or slept, and perpetually just wandered the world in their large four door sedans.
A couple months later, the Chomple crew was headed to a Chinese dive down the street from Steve. We arranged to meet up with him there. Thankfully (for Steve) the Chinese dive was closed on Mondays. (this dive will never see a single review here... ever. We ate there the next day and it was horrible).
We called Steve and told him the place was closed. He said no worries, he had the perfect place:
PASTA VILLAGE
So we headed there.
Upon entering, we were confronted by a sign that advertised their lunch box deal. $7.99 was a great price... but what did you get for eight dollars? According to the sign:
-"Small Salad" assembled by them from your choices a la Plutos/Jack's Urban Eats
-Pick a pasta, sauce, and two vegetables
-Pick an appetizer
-Cookie
-Bread
-Drink
All that for eight dollars? We were expecting microscopic portions.
We were so wrong.
Here is my "small" salad. That plate is a dinner plate, it's not a small bowl. My salad was romaine, black olives, and peas with a spicy peanut dressing. Everything was fresh and flavorful.
Actual's "small" salad of spring mix with tomatoes and cucumbers topped with Caesar salad. She loved this salad, and she's really picky about Caesar dressing.
Saucy's salad of romaine with tomatoes and tortilla strips in a lime and herb dressing. She licked the plate clean (she loves sauce of all types, ya know).
Here's my main plate. Rigatoni with garlic butter sauce, mushrooms, and black olives. By garlic they meant GARLIC. Deep fried mushrooms with ranch. Slice of bread and a fresh baked chocolate chip cookie. SO GOOD... and it made me full.
Actual's bowtie pesto with mushroom and broccoli, side of cheese sticks. She thought this was awesome, I would have thought so as well if I liked pesto, but I don't.
Saucy opted for penne alfredo with tomatoes and italian sausage. Probably the best of the three.
Here's Steve with his "small" salad. He's so happy! I guess we've finally found the elusive STEVE APPROVED Roseville meal deal!
So, for all of you guys that wanted a great lunch deal free of seafood and unsanitary conditions, here you go, courtesy of super REALTOR Steve Ostrom. He finds great houses and great meals. Maybe I'll have him pick my next pet too.
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