This all started with a conversation between me, Girlfriend Actual, and F+ Girlfriend (if you recall from previous posts, F+ Girlfriend is named so because she actually gave one of her students an F+. I knew it was always possible to get an F+, but I never thought anyone would actually do it).
The topic was: What is the American Dream?
We all agreed that at some point, what the American Dream represented was the right to do whatever you wanted--within reason. This was only really true during the years when we were locked in a culture war with the Communist Bloc. America represented a place where you could go and express yourself. Our government painted us a picture of flocks of counterculture poets and sexpressionist painters abused by their oppressive governments, hunted by the secret police, and forced to toil underground in a cold basement before being liberated by Uncle Sam.
But the above was just a propaganda war. The true American Dream comes down to this: if you come to our country and work hard, you can join our middle class. Now, if you worked hard in your home country, you could join their middle class too. But our middle class ROCKS. Middle class life in your country SUCKS, and you know it. If you don't believe us, just watch our movies.
It takes a trip outside of the US to realize that as long as you're not homeless, life in this country is decidedly more pleasant than in about 98% of the rest of the world. You can drink the tap water. You can have your own car. If you don't live in California, you can have your own house. There are clean bathrooms for you to use EVERYWHERE. Most public transit is not scary, nor will it kill you unless a nearby BART cop is having a bad day. For all the bad press, the police in this country actually tend to not be corrupt. Public utilities actually stay on.
Most importantly (to me) the food is safe. Granted, there have been recalls and outbreaks here and there, but compared to the rest of the world this is a microscopic problem. Food is so safe in this country that other than the other G-8 countries, we're one of the few nations that actually demands for LESS to be done to our food. Irradiated meat? Can't get anyone to buy it in this country. It's a godsend in most other places. On a trip to Thailand one year, I was informed by my driver not to eat my favorite street food which was grilled meatballs. Oh, too bad. Was it e. coli? Nope. There was an anthrax outbreak in the beef supply. ANTHRAX. Seriously? Nevermind that 95% of those street food hawker stalls and 85% of the restaurants would never pass a health inspection in the US. When you judge a new restaurant in this country, the discussion usually centers around whether or not it's going to be good, not whether or not the food will kill you.
So we established what the American Dream is. But what's the California Dream? What makes California this mythical place where everyone wants to go?
F+ Girlfriend had an answer for me: the California Dream is that we've assembled such a diverse group of people in California that you can not only join the middle class, you can do it doing what you're passionate about. Feel your artform is painting palm trees gold? You can probably find a customer base that wants it. Want to start a bakery making beef stuffed Twinkies? There's probably already a meat-filled snack cake group in the area.
So, how much of the California Dream can we eat in 24 hours?
12:00 PM- Cafe Gratitude
The last place you should ever be able to find me is a raw vegan restaurant.
The back dining room of Cafe Gratitude is built like a greenhouse. I didn't like this either. I don't like greenhouses. Or gardening. Or nature.
Here's the menu. I was surprised it was so long. There aren't that many meals you can make with raw vegan ingredients... right? Note that all of their menu items are named "I am..." something. You're supposed to think about how you feel and your general mental state. The waitress actually asks you some sort of metaphysical question before you order. It's all very surreal. We've all heard of places like this, but most of us have never been in one. Someone in our party mentioned it was like eating at the Dharma Initiative cafeteria. Namaste.
Cafe Gratitude's raw vegan latte? How is this possible? Turns out they use cold brewed coffee (which is delicious, since you get none of the bitterness) which they soak overnight. This is blended with organic hazelnut milk. The whole thing was absolutely scrumptious. This cold brewed coffee thing has taken off everywhere in the past year or so, and you can get it at lots of places now. I highly recommend it if you can find it. Don't bother looking at Starbucks.
First up, our sampler plate. On this plate in no particular order: sprouted almond hummus, Asian kale-sea vegetable salad, hempseed pesto crostini, spicy cashew nacho cheese with flax chips, olive tapenade, buckwheat crackers, and a spring roll. All raw, all vegan, and all entirely tasty.
The macrobiotic bowl. Too many ingredients to list, but I will say that this thing was the most delicious thing I've eaten in years that didn't contain a lick of meat. It was pretty huge but I ate the whole thing.
Live pizza with raw marinara sauce. Actually tasted better than a real pizza and I felt a lot healthier eating it. The cheese is made from brazil nuts.
Dessert time. And now presenting the best dessert I've had in three years. A key lime pie made with avocados, topped with coconut meringue in a macadamia nut and date crust. So creamy and so delicious. This blew my mind. I wanted another piece.
The others were in more of a chocolate mood and went for the chocolate mousse pie made from pure cacao and hazelnuts. So good. Creamier than the "real" thing.
3:00 PM- Miller's Deli
Me: I feel like I've cheated on the meatatarian community.
Actual: I guess...
Me: What would be the opposite of the meal we had at noon?
Actual: Cured meat.
Me: How about cured meat with a huge carbon footprint?
So we headed to Miller's East Cost Deli, where we were told the cured meat was flown in from the Bronx.
I started with a bowl of matzo ball soup. I could tell you how good it was, but I think you can tell from this picture.
I went for the pastrami sandwich. Tastes like a good NYC sandwich. Not Katz's good, but nothing really can be. Best one I've had outside of NYC or Montreal. The flash on my camera at the time (my old, horrible Photosmart) totally washed out this picture, so you can't tell just how juicy this thing was. Meat this good is worth the global warming it caused getting to me.
4:00 PM- Tommy's Joynt
Me: Hey, Tommy's Joynt is about a mile from here, let's go!
Actual: Are you serious? You just had a pastrami sandwich!
Me: IT'S TOMMY'S!!!
And that's how we ended up at Tommy's Joynt, even though we still had cured meat in our stomachs from another place. Tommy's has been featured on every gastrotourism show known to man with the exception of No Reservations. If you have a slice and serve comfort food cafeteria-style eatery in your town, Tommy's is the same thing, only 1000 times more delicious. Readers from the UK: apparently in your country this sort of thing is called a carvery.
As you can see, the place is hard to miss.
Ordering is pretty simple. Get in line (probably long, but it moves fast). Order your meat entree from the carver. Tell the second person which sides you want. Tell the third person if you want dessert. Pay the fourth person. Go eat.
Since I was still full, I took home my Tommy's corned beef and cabbage. Here it is after I sloppily plated it. It was spectacular.
9:00 PM- Naan 'N' Curry
Me: OMG F+ ate all my corned beef?
Actual: Yeah and so what? You're staying at her hotel for free.
Me: Oh yeah. But I still need to be fed.
Actual: OMG how many meals are we going to have today.
Me: I'm writing a post about 24 hours in San Francisco.
Actual: ... [cussing] ... [more cussing]
Me: We're only two blocks from Naan 'N' Curry! I've always wanted to eat there!!!
Actual: Nowhere you've ever "wanted to eat" actually turns out to be good.
So we headed to Naan 'N' Curry. This is a small chain of Indo-Pakistani restaurants in San Francisco. They are extremely famous for a few things:
- Open 24 hours
- Very chaotic, smoke filled restaurant
- Full of all sorts of interesting characters
- Food is decent
What's not to like about that deal?
We showed up and paid for our two buffet meals and found a table. The tables around us were packed with a motley assortment of cab drivers, tourists, students, and various gangsters. There was indeed a layer of smoke crawling on the ceiling. I tried to get a picture of this but failed.
In fact, I didn't take any pictures of this place. It was just too strange but pictures wouldn't have captured the supreme strangeness of it all. The food is pretty good too so, just go yourself and have fun with it.
9:00 AM- Ferry Building
The next morning our 24 hours were running out. We wanted to end the day eating food made by people absolutely obsessed with their craft. So off to the Ferry Building we went.
First stop: Boccalone. This is a salumiera run by Chris Cosentino, of Food Network and Incanto fame. All of their stuff is made from the best pork and made traditionally at their facility in Oakland. Before they opened their storefront in the Ferry Building, the only way you could taste their tasty pig parts was to subscribe to their deliveries.
These are their prosciutto cones. Best prosciutto I've ever had. At $3.50, an absolute steal. We got three for the two of us.
A few doors down we found Cowgirl Creamery. We skipped their aged cheese area and went to the fresh cheese cooler where one of their cheesemongers was happy to let Actual try all of their fresh cheese varieties and pack some for her to take back to the hotel.
Here's our breakfast. A fresh loaf of sourdough, chocolate croissant, herbed fromage blanc, clabbered cottage cheese, and nduja, a spreadable salami... all of it made within 20 miles of where we were. We really should have paired it with a bottle of California wine, but we really wanted to open our bottle of Brunello di Montalcino.
If you're nuts for food, San Francisco has your brand of crazy. It's the tasty side of the American Dream.
