So, we had a Chomplevent. Lots of people showed up. It was great fun and a rather calm event until THE GRILLED CHEESE TO END ALL GRILLED CHEESES (henceforth referred to as Quesozilla) showed up.
We headed to the Roseville outpost of The Squeeze Inn. Yes, THAT Squeeze Inn. This burger joint (now small chain) creates cheeseburgers with giant cheese skirts. It's been on every food travel show known to man except No Reservations (come on Tony, you'll love it).
It began as a calm affair. We all ordered our food. Here's the part of the menu that shows all of the fun addons you can put on your burger. They're good, but not really necessary.
Parks and Recreation Guy got the first burger. I think it scared him a little. By the way, this was not the most grandiose cheese skirt of the night...
This was my dinner. I don't really like cheeseburgers, even ones this good. So I always get the teriyaki steak sandwich. Thin sliced ribeye with homemade teriyaki sauce? YES PLEASE!
Also pictured: my corn dog.
The most grandiose cheese skirt came as part of Concierge Girlfriend's Squeeze with Cheese. Just look at that thing! Designer Girlfriend estimated that the average burger here probably comes out to 40 Weight Watchers points.
And then came... Quesozilla.
Sir Ocho's son Kart King came along to the Chomplevent and was amped when he saw grilled cheese on the menu. Watch out, we warned, these people take cheese way too seriously. It's going to be a scary monster of a sandwich.
He wanted it. He ordered it. They made it.
Here's Kart King with the freshly arrived Quesozilla. He's not sure quite what to make of it. It looked innocuous enough.
See that huge wedge of fried cheese on the edge? That should have been his first warning sign that he was about to experience the monstrous cheese of Quesozilla.
"This should be easy enough... I'll just pick it up like a normal grilled cheese... yeah."
"Uhhhh... what the hee haw. Um. Mom. Mom. MOM HELP. MOM!"
"Ok Kart King, let me help you... uhhh what the heck? How much cheese is in this thing? Hey hubs, we have health insurance for Kart King right? We do? Ok, good."
"Here, take a bite."
"Oh... ohhh yeah. That tastes sooo good. Hey. HEY. It's still ATTACKING ME. IT WON'T LET GO."
"I WILL DESTROY YOU QUESOZILLA!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!1!!!!1!11!!1one"
Ten minutes later, the sandwich was defeated. Congratulations were given by all at the Chomplevent. Kart King 1, Quesozilla 0.
I don't think he'll look at cheese the same way again.
