Ok, this is my final desperate plea for money. Please PLEASE donate money to the cause. It benefits three very worthy causes, my favorite being an organization that throws birthday parties for underprivileged/homeless children. What can beat that?
All donations have to be in by the 10th, so do it now!
So what's in it for you?
It's simple. At certain cumulative fundraising thresholds, I will abuse myself and my palate for your amusement. Of course, I will blog about the horrible, miserable things I'm doing to myself in the name of charity so you can all share in my misfortune.
Remember, these are all cumulative, so I will do everything on this list that is covered by the total amount of money donated.
$50--California Nightmare
When at least $50 has been donated, I will go to Sakuran Sushi and order a California Roll as my entire meal. I will turn down anything they try to comp me with saying that I'm now a California Roll kind of guy.
Want to see this happen? Click HERE to donate!
$100--The McItalian Job
At this threshold, I will go eat a meal at Olive Garden, not only one of my least favorite restaurants but also a restaurant with which I have serious moral and philosophical issues. I will also NOT order any alcohol, so I will be forced to endure the entire experience while sober.
Want to see this happen? Click HERE to donate!
$150--Starf*cks
When reaching $150, I will open a post on Chomple asking people to specify any ridiculous Starbucks drink that is physically possible to be made for under $20. I will go order it and drink it. If you have the Starbucks iPhone app, you realize how scary this could get.
Want to see this happen? Click HERE to donate!
$200--Diners, Drive Ins, and overpriced crap
I will return to the restaurant that tried to smear me online: Johnny Garlic's. This is one of Guy Fieri's restaurants and the last time I went it was a total disaster. Various members of their staff left grumpy messages on my blog and reported my reviews on Yelp for being inappropriate. As you might guess, I will be returning to the restaurant in a disguise and paying with cash.
Want to see this happen? Click HERE to donate!
$300--That's not food, that's what food eats to become food.
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I will go vegetarian for an entire week. Now, I know some of you are vegetarians and are thinking "Why is this a punishment?" Simple. I'm a meatatarian.
Want to see this happen? Click HERE to donate!
$400--Quit cooking out all the nutrients!
On top of going vegetarian, I will go raw. Nothing cooked above 120 degrees for a week.
Want to see this happen? Click HERE to donate!
$500--You're secretly a granola chompling hippie! YOU KNOW IT.
When we make it to 500, I will go strict vegan for the week. No animal products whatsoever.
Want to see this happen? Click HERE to donate!
$750+-- Let's make Yod miserable while making Girlfriend Actual happy.
On top of everything else, I will attempt to do everything on this list in the same week, which means I will try to get a raw vegan California Roll (lol, can't wait to see the chefs try that one) and also try to eat a raw vegan meal at Olive Garden and Johnny Garlic's. In addition, I will switch Ebby to organic free-range cat food for a week so that she will be extra grumpy and hate me forever.
Also I will do ALL of the housework for the week, which will probably equal more housework than I have done since the Browns were in contention for an AFC championship.
Want to see this happen? Click HERE to donate!
And for your reference and joy, some examples of the faces I may make during these events.
